My Fibromyalgia Journey

After a long 25 years, today, I can finally sit here sipping on my vitamin-packed green smoothie (cliche, I know) and honestly tell you that I am using the power of nature (natural medicine) to slowly but surely find true health: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual.

We all have a story to tell and as the saying goes, “You cannot change the cards you are dealt, only play the hand”. As painful (literally and figuratively) as my fibromyalgia journey has been since the tender age of about ten, I would not change it, because I would not be the woman, nutritionist or mama I am today without this experience:

• I wouldn’t believe that you are what you eat, digest and absorb: you are either slowly feeding or preventing disease.

• I wouldn’t believe that what goes on, in and around your body has a direct impact on your health.

• I wouldn’t understand how intricately stress impacts your health.

• I wouldn’t understand the impact that childhood and adult trauma have on the body.

• I wouldn’t know that it’s possible to find and address the root cause of health concerns, naturally.

• I wouldn’t believe the body is “whole” (mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual) and has an innate ability to heal given the time and the right conditions.

• I wouldn’t believe that although your genes and genetic mutations do play a role in your health outcome, you have the ability to change their “genetic expression” to a certain degree.

• I wouldn’t believe that I could be pharmaceutical drug free (as I am today).

• I wouldn’t have opened my eyes to natural medicine.

• I wouldn't feel as empowered as I do now to take control of my own health, and raise my child holistically with a disease prevention mindset.

• I wouldn’t believe that nature is truly healing

• I wouldn’t be working as a nutritionist; using my knowledge, education and experience to hold space, listen with empathy, and support mamas through their unique health journeys towards a feeling of empowerment over their own health.

As a child, prior to my “diagnosis”, my most prominent symptoms were chronic fatigue, chronic all over body pain, severe back and neck pain, all over body stiffness, muscles painful to touch, insomnia, headaches and stomachaches. I remember running errands with my mom and leaning on something for support due to my fatigue, stiffness and pain. I would lie in bed awake at night until about 3am out of sheer exhaustion, for two straight years, and wake up feeling like I had been hit my a truck (pain, fatigue, stiff, achy). It was difficult to get moving in the morning and took quite some time for my body to “wake up” for the day. I experienced “butterflies” in my stomach which I see now was likely mild anxiety. I craved bread and sugar, a lot of it. I struggled to sit in class, concentrate and write tests, yet somehow, pushed through and was a straight-A student. For two long years, I bounced from doctor to doctor, specialist to specialist, endured test after test where I was poked and prodded, until finally at the age of thirteen, after ruling everything else out, a rheumatologist said the symptoms were indicative of fibromyalgia. He was baffled because this condition usually appeared in women in their 30’s and 40’s, not in teens. The doctor’s answer was a prescription muscle relaxant to help me fall and stay asleep at night (oh it did that alright, and also made me groggy the next day), and NSAIDs for the pain (those rarely did anything except cause more stomach pain). He suggested gentle exercise like swimming over the competitive soccer I played five days per week, and I was given a note for school in case I needed to bow out of certain activities due to my symptoms (I don’t think I ever did though). That was about it, I was going to live with this chronic condition for the rest of my life, and there really wasn't much I could do about it. Although I was happy I could FINALLY put a name to the symptoms I had been feeling for so long, it felt like a doom and gloom situation to be in at such a young age. This wasn't the end for me though, little did I know, it was just the beginning. 

I was not going to accept that this condition was going to define who I was and will be. As a type A personality, with a mild amount of perfectionism (lol) I had big plans for my life, and fibro was not going to get in the way of living the enriched life I had envisioned for myself.

I am a researcher; I read, I investigate, I pour myself into a topic for hours on end until I find an answer. From a young age, I wanted to understand WHY I was experiencing these symptoms and HOW I could potentially alleviate or reverse them and feel better, and I didn’t want a band-aid solution. For years I dove into books, articles, websites, and spoke to others. I did trial and error with various treatments and remedies, both allopathic and “alternative” medicine. I spent the vast majority of my time trying to feel better, to feel “normal”, both mentally and physically.

Despite the chronic pain and fatigue, I graduated from university with an Honours Bachelor of Arts degree in sociology, played varsity soccer (shocking to look back now and see how much I constantly pushed myself), and began a career in HR. I hit a brick wall in my late 20s when I became dependent on five different pharmaceutical drugs, numbing injections, and epidurals, and felt my sickest. I could not, and would not continue to live this way, especially at such a young age. After over 15 years of cycling through the allopathic medical system, I couldn’t do it anymore, I KNEW in my heart there HAD to be a different way. I couldn’t continue to live like this.

Not long after, while reading my umpteenth health book and really resonating with the medical doctor/author and her holistic mindset, and the science behind it, I implemented the recommended changes, and began to feel a reduction in my fibromyalgia symptoms. It was at this point that I discovered nutrition and the body’s innate ability to heal. I ran as fast as I could to nutrition school, excelled at the top of my class, and began my second career as a passionate Holistic Nutritionist, my true calling (outside of being a mama). I continued down my healing journey over the next few years, which is where I am today (but our healing journey never truly ends!)

It sounds odd, but I am so grateful for the rollercoaster ride that I’ve been on with my health over the last 25+ years. As a result of my experience, I can now teach others how to reduce their fibro pain and fatigue, and raise Emma holistically, through a natural medicine mindset, knowing firsthand that it works. I would not want her feeling an ounce of the pain I’ve felt, even for a second, and I don’t want that for any of my clients either.

Although every day is different with this condition, and I still have to “watch my spoons” (energy and pain levels), overall I feel better, I feel healthier, I feel happier. 

My mind is clearer.

I have less fatigue

I have less fibromyalgia pain

I have less stiffness

I am sleeping better (when Emma doesn't wake)

My digestion is improving

My stress and sex hormones are improving

My stress has decreased and I manage it better

I am a healthy weight (for me)

My skin is clear and a healthy pink colour

My eyes are bright blue and “awake”

Most important I am happy, I have my whole life to look forward to. 

Am I feeling as healthy as I wish I could be? Not yet, but I’m hopeful I’ll get there eventually. The healing journey is a long and winding rollercoaster. Do I experience flare ups? Yes, especially during stress and in the cold winter months. Am I on a path to better health? Absolutely. How did I get here? A lot of patience, time, hard work, determination, the right resources, eating whole foods and making many natural lifestyle changes. I am so happy to say that today, I am more of the woman, mama, and nutritionist I was meant to be, especially for Emma. If you’re struggling with your own healing journey, just remember, slow and steady wins the race and I’m always here for support!

xo,

The Nutritionist Mama

*Disclaimer - this is my own personal experience and not medical advice.